Things That Scare the Crap Outta Me!

Halloween is absolutely one of my favorite holidays. I love love love everything about it: the time of year, the food, the decorations, the parties, and of course, the costumes and candy!

It's funny that I would like Halloween so much, because honestly, I'm one of those people that doesn't like to be scared. Well, I take that back, I don't mind being scared by something "fake"--I just don't want to be scared by something "real." If you know what I mean.

For example, I love Knott's Scary Farm--when the employees dress up as ghouls during October, and walk around silently scaring the garbage out of you as you wait in line for the train ride. . .

but, I hate it when random citizens follow me around ANYTIME of year, silently scaring the garbage out of me.

So, maybe that's what I love about Halloween. I love that it's the one night when you really aren't scared of anything--because all of the scary things aren't real!

With that in mind, I thought I'd list some of the
things that really DO scare me:

* Any of the Halloween movies.
(What in the heck? How on earth have I ever even seen one of those? Why do I know who "Jason" is? I think I was about 13 when that movie series launched. Where would I have seen the dang movie? I know my parents didn't take me. Friends? I certainly wouldn't have paid to see it--I'm a scaredy cat.)

* Which brings me to my next scary movie, CHUCKIE!
(Same thing. How in the crap do I even know who Chuckie the Doll is? I swear I haven't seen that movie, but I know what that flippin' doll looks like--detail by detail.)

* Drive-Ins.
(There's no fun in watching a movie in your car in an abandoned lot with speakers that cut in an out. Are you kidding me? That's scary!)

* People who ring the doorbell and hide.
(We have one neighbor who does this everytime she rings the doorbell. She's only 12-ish, but it still scares me to no end. She rings the doorbell and hides. Who taught her this? And, why does she insist on doing it EVEN after I've told her it scares me to no end? BTW: Just to clarify, she's asking to play with one of our girls, but she still rings and hides? Swear on my life I'm going to get a scary mask and wear it to open the door next time she rings.)

* The dentist.
(I don't care how nice, happy, kind those dental hydenists are, each time I go to the dentist, I feel like I'm about to be strapped into a medevil torture chamber. Think Frankenstein's Laboratory.)

* My water bill.
(Silly, I know, but anytime I'm about to open my waterbill, I feel like I'm reading a report card. It really does give me anxiety.)

* Being in Walmart.
(Now, I know I complain about Walmart . . . a lot. I know, "deals, discounts, savings. . . ." But seriously people, Walmart scares me. Everytime I'm there, I run into an employee that I'm sure I've seen on America's Most Wanted.)

* Truckstops.
(I could hold my bladder for over 14 hours on a roadtrip if it meant never going into a Truckstop or Gas Station in the middle Nowhereville.)

* Detached garages.
(When I was growing up in California, our garage was not attached to our home. And for some strange reason, Mom and Dad thought it would be a great idea to put the washer and dryer in the garage--where it was quiet. Well, let me tell you Jo and Gary, you probably don't know this, but I used to carry a rake with me when I would go to get laundry--just in case I had to knock out the bad-guy I was sure lived in our garage. BTW: We can add Grandma Jamie's backhouse and cellar to this entry.)

* Clowns.
(Hate 'em. No need to explain. All of 'em--circus, Cirque de . . ., Jo-Jo on Disney Channel. All of 'em.)

* The heirloom doll my mom has displayed in her home.
(Fortunately my brother LOVES this doll because he's the one that is going to inherit it. It's a doll that my great grandma played with as a child? Made from her own hair, I think the story goes. Mom, the eyes move! You just know that doll gets out of that glass octagon each night and roams the neighborhood. EEEEeek!)