Where's the Rewind on This Thing?

I was listening to the comedy channel on the radio the other day and the comedian had a list of "The Top 50 Things Parents Say to Their Kids When They Are Mad."

It made me laugh so hard.

First, because a lot of them were things my parents said to me.

Second, because a lot of them ARE things I say to our kids NOW (eeek).

Anyhow, it got me thinking: there's not always a lot of logic involved in the parenting techniques I employ (yes, employ). I mean, if I'm writing a paper for a class at school, I spend weeks scrutinizing the logic behind my arguments/claims. But for some reason, my parenting techniques just don't get the same focus/attention/clarity during the "stress of the parenting moment."

My latest example:

Something (okay, probably 1200 things) had me feeling stressed about "all I do for our kids." (You moms know the stream of consciousness I'm referring to: "I do this, I do that . . . everyone else does nothing." ).

And at this time, Jonah was the lucky sounding board for my stress.

So here I am, I'm inventory-ing for Jonah "all that mom does," and as part my tirade I loop in "and you mow lawns as a job, but it's my lawnmower and my gas . . . "

Yeah, I'm brilliant.

Our 14 year-old/Jonah mows lawns in our neighborhood for extra money and I am suddenly taking credit for that, too.

Now, mind you, we did buy the lawnmower and we do buy the gas for it. BUT was that something to complain about? Was that really something that set me off that day?

No. Not at all. I'm actually proud of Jonah for having a job, taking initiative, working hard, saving money . . . .

But, there's no logic when I'm cranky--really, no logic. Sad, but true.

So obviously I felt bad immediately after I made the lawnmower comments. (I knew they made no sense. I was mad about overextending myself--my choices, not Jonah's.)

So, I apologized to Jonah. (And he accepted and apologized back. That's Kid 101--"always apologize even if you aren't wrong.")

I felt so bad! (Or is it badly? Both.)

BUT . . .

I felt HORRIBLE the next morning when I went to my bathroom tagboard and found the above note:

"Mom's Money: To pay off lawnmower and gas. I'm still working on getting more money."

Holy crap.

Note to self:

Kids listen.

The words you speak hold weight.

(Yes, I knew this before. But clearly, I needed the reminder. And wow did that note do it.)

I want our kids to remember the good things about themselves/mom/dad, not the ugly.

Time to be more thoughtful when I speak. Time to THINK before I speak. Time to pay attention to what outcome I'm hoping for.

In other words, it's time to hit the rewind (or refresh--if you were born after 1990) and begin again.

Sorry, Jonah.

(Wo)Man! Parenting is humbling.



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*And yes, I gave the money back.)